Tim's First Day of Kindergarten

September, 1976, Marina, California:

It was Tim's first day of kindergarten and he was my first to go to school. Surely I had time to prepare him for his first day, but I was still a bit apprehensive. As the eventful day approached, thoughts swirled through my head, "Would he be okay? Would he like his teacher? Would he find some good friends? Had I prepared him enough?"

That first morning, Tim put on his new school clothes: navy blue corduroy pants and a jersey cotton shirt with a collar. We did not pack a lunch because he would only be attending half day and would be home by lunch time.

After eating a bowl of cereal, Tim, Amy (almost 3) and Billy (1) and headed out the door. We walked about a half of a block. As we neared the school, I saw many other mothers with their children. We found the open-air hallways, traveled past the cafeteria, and around the corner to the kindergarten.

We approached the door to the kindergarten and said our "goodbyes." There would be no public hugging or kisses to embarrass him. I did my job. I did not embarrass him. Tim went through the door ready to begin this new experience, but I lingered outside the room, waiting, peering inside to see if he was okay. Noticing that I was still there, Tim came back to the entrance and said, "You can go now, mom."

Yes. I could go now. He was going to be okay. Did he say it because I was embarrassing him or because he saw my need? It didn't matter. I appreciated his taking the time to assure me that he would be alright.

That assurance has helped me weather scary times with Tim: when he fell off the school's parallel bars in gymnastics class and they thought he broke his neck; when he nearly sawed his finger off in the bicycle chain; when after surfing all summer a mass began to cover his eye threatening to blind him; when he bicycled with the Varsity Scouts from San Jose to Disneyland, and the next year from Oregon to Canada. Now, as a husband, father, and firefighter, though scary things happen, I know he'll be able to handle it.